Peace

                   I have been mulling this blog for over a week. You might use the word ruminate if I were a bovine creature or a goat.   The blame lies with my friend Alexa Lowery, a teacher at Destino del Reino in Siguatepeque, Honduras. She maintains a blog at home during the summer and on a mission called Causa di Mi Nombre.   As much as I enjoy reading her blog, it is very spiritually challenging to read her blog because she challenges me to stretch my faith. In her April 18^th blog, “Teacher, what is peace to you?” she finished with the challenging question, “What is peace to you?”   Thus I began my journey of rumination and mulling. A heartfelt thanks to Alexa for starting me on my journey.

My thoughts start in Joshua 4:1-7.   I have always loved this passage of Scripture. I once heard a pastor preach a sermon entitled “Spiritual Mile Markers” using this passage.   My friend Terry has a bowl (he is from Texas, so you know it is a big bowl) of stones with words and Bible references written on them. He keeps them as a reminder of God’s faithfulness in his life. I wish I had been more consistent in my collection of stones of remembrance, but I have mile markers in my memory for those I didn’t write down.

                                I know the topic is peace. God has been faithful in the past. He will continue to be faithful … even if I am not loyal to Him. These stones of remembrance as reminders of God’s faithfulness bring me peace. Let me pick up some of these rocks to illustrate God’s faithfulness.

                 From November 1984-July 1985, I was a student Naval Flight Officer at Mather AFB in Sacramento, California. I have never been a proficient test taker, and I could have done better under pressure at that time.   We were allowed two “downs” (failure of performance) grades during our training there at Mather. As you can guess, I quickly used up my two. A third “down” would bring me before a flight review board to consider booting me from the flight program. On the day of our Maritime Navigation check flight in the simulator, I relaxed and looked forward to proving what I could do.

                The simulator flight went well. We were using radar to navigate a route in the United States. At one point, a band of light came up on my radar. I called the instructor over and asked, “Is this the weather around which I am supposed to navigate the aircraft?”   He steadfastly told me that was an anomaly and not the weather around which I was supposed to navigate. I finished the simulator flight and told the instructor I had never encountered the weather. He gave me a “down” (failing grade) for the simulator flight because I did not navigate around the weather (Wait, you told me that anomaly was not the weather!!!!)

                My advisor told me the next day that I had 3 “downs” and would be going before a Field Naval Aviator Evaluation Board (FNAB). In the Naval Aviation world, we will discuss whether you stay in training or “wash out” of the program. I explained to my advisor what had happened during the simulator check-ride and went home contemplating my future in Naval Aviation.

                That night I had the worst nightmare in my life up to that point.   I was in our house at Mather AFB, and a monster chased me from room to room.   I felt that if he caught me, he would kill me. Just as he was about to see me, I sat straight up in bed and screamed. Lynne was obviously awakened by my scream and asked what was wrong. I explained my dream to her and knelt by the bed to pray.   I told God that He had brought me here for a reason and that He would have to intervene if I was to continue on in Naval Flight Officer training. I also shared with God my willingness to accept whatever happened and serve wherever he sent me.

                The next day I went to work ready for an FNAB to wash me out of the program. I met with my advisor, and he had good news. He had met with the instructor who had given me the lousy gouge in the simulator, and they had agreed to give me another chance at the simulator check ride.    When the anomaly appeared this time, I asked the same instructor if that was the weather I was to avoid, and he said yes. I aced (perfect score) my check-ride. The rest is aviation history.

                I earned my Naval Flight Officer gold wings in the summer of 1985 and received orders to a squadron in Brunswick, Maine. When we received our orders, Lynne and I began praying for God to provide “shelter” for us in Maine.   Almost as soon as we started praying, the Holy Spirit gave me a “peace that passes all understanding” about where we would live in Maine. Upon arrival, we contacted a local real estate agent.   After discussing our budget and what we were looking for, our agent took a couple of days to assemble some houses to show us.   I looked at Lynne at the first house we saw and said, “This is the house we should buy!”  Lynne told me we should keep looking because you never buy the first house you see. We looked at a few other places over the next couple of days. We even made an offer on one home, and the sellers returned with a counteroffer higher than their original offer. (Note: They were going through a divorce and trying to maximize their share of the profits on the house.)  After seeing places and having deals fall through, Lynne and I agreed that we should go back and visit the first house. As soon as we entered the door, Lynne turned to me and said, “You are right; this is it!”  

During our 3.5 years in Maine, I was home for 6 months (+/-). Living in that small house in Lisbon Falls, Maine, at 1 Faith Street, was a blessing. My neighbors would snow blow the driveway for Lynne, replace my hot water heater when it went out, and love on my wife like you would not believe.

I have one last stone to share with you. There are others, but I am trying to keep this blog post short and hit the highlights. I completed the Naval Postgraduate School in 1994 and called my detailer (a person in Washington, DC, who coordinates personnel assignments for my aviation community). Since I had been stationed in Guam, he suggested it would be good for my career to take orders to the electronic warfare squadron in Rota, Spain, to “round out my career” before screening for command of a squadron. Lynne and I prayed and decided to go to Spain. There were only two squadrons in my aviation community then: one in Spain and one in Guam.   They were geographically on opposite sides of the world, and the climate in the two squadrons was the polar opposite. And, neither squadron threw out the welcome mat for aviators from the sister squadron.

I will save you the boring details of all that occurred during my “twilight” tour as a Naval Flight officer. After my first year, I was convinced God had brought me to Spain to end my Naval career. The spiritual warfare I experienced from other Christians, but primarily from the Commanding Officers and Executive Officers, left little doubt that I would never see another promotion and thus never command a squadron.    I thought the spiritual warfare could not get worse. I was sadly mistaken. The day I assumed the role of Administrative department head for the squadron, I assembled everyone who would be working for me into one room. This had been a tradition I carried throughout my Naval career. I told my officers and troops that my priorities, in order, were:  God, family, and then the Navy. Yep, I can declare war on the spiritual forces of evil in that squadron.    As I look back on the squadron tour, there are two perspectives to consider. From a Naval career point of view, it was the beginning of the end. From a spiritual point of view, it was a new beginning.

One of the officers that worked for me was a Naval Flight Officer, whom I will call Clint. He and I often encouraged each other in our Christian walk and shared prayer requests. Early in the final year of my department head tour, he began seeking me out in my office to pray with him, share Scripture, and give him guidance (which I felt woefully inadequate to provide).   After a few months, he came to my office and closed the door.   Looked me in the eye and said, “Commander, I have a burden on my heart for the Lord, and I need prayer and guidance!”   Understand that earning your Wings of Gold in the Navy takes 2-3 years of intense training and schooling.   Clint had been called into the ministry and would surrender his Wings of Gold to follow God’s calling on his life! We met almost daily for several months, discussing options and praying over his decision.

In the Navy, all squadrons conduct a FOD (Foreign Object Damage) walk of the ramp area around the hangar. The goal is to pick up anything that can get sucked in by an engine or blow prop wash and cause damage. Clint and I always lined up side-by-side, talked, and prayed as we looked for FOD. One day we were on the ramp just as the sun rose there in Spain, and God spoke to me about Lamentations 3. In particular, it brought to my heart and mind the song based on this passage. Here is the passage God spoke to me:

Lamentations 3:23

22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; 23  they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  24  “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”

           God told me to point out the sunrise to Clint and speak these words to Him.  So I turned to Clint, pointed at the sunrise, and gave Him God’s message. He looked at me, slightly confused and surprised. The following day, he came to my office to tell me he was giving up his wings to follow God’s calling and wanted me to be the first to know.   We prayed together, and both felt a peace that passed all understanding about his decision.   I have heard from or seen Clint since that day. However, my tour in Spain was a spiritual victory.

            What is peace to me? Knowing my God is faithful even when I am not.   When challenges come, and they have, will, and continue to come, I pull my stones out and remember God’s faithfulness to me.   Then I experience again the peace that passes all understanding Paul speaks of in Philippians 4:6-7. Thank you, Alexa, for challenging me on this question.